Today's Experiment: DIY Self Tanning Frosty

I get sucked into Pinterest (who doesn't?). I'll spend hours at night looking at things I'm not even necessarily interested in. But I originally created an account for all the DIY. Having no money has made me something of a 'life hacker'. So, here I am, trying to be very, very quiet while the BF sleeps (like other normal people at 1a.m.) and I find a beauty pin that I think would be relatively silent. 

Here is the the pin. It's for DIY self tanning lotion using 2 simple ingredients! Now, of course I had to try this because I have never had a healthy relationship with the sun. I can burn in 5 minutes given the right circumstances and have to use foundations, concealer, etc. in the shade porcelain. Lately I've been discovering makeup and beauty products and even thinking about one day (maybe) styling my hair, so this pin struck me as something new and awesome I could try for free because I have cocoa powder and lotion. Yipeee! Unfortunately, I thought that this DIY project would occupy me for longer...

Here I have everything I need for a healthy-looking, tanned glow.

Please excuse the poor lighting in all subsequent photos. 

It's late and my full spectrum lamp is in the room with the sleeping person.

Now, the post says to use unscented white lotion but...whaaat? I've never heard of such a thing and, if it exists, I don't have the time or money to go around searching for it. So I used the most basic lotion I could find: COCOA BUTTER. Mmmmmm.

Stirring until all smoothed together...oh, my...it looks...delicious.

Like a Frosty or something. Must not eat...

Now here is a photo of my arm before applying. I know I'm pale. Don't be frightened.

Actually, in the terrible lighting, I look a bit less like a ghost.

Resisting the urge to eat the lotion, I apply it liberally.

FYI, a lot of rubbing and re-applying happened. It seems that either I did not mix it thoroughly or the cocoa powder just insists on making little clumps. There was also a lot of gentle wiping with a t-shirt to remove the little balls of no longer delicious-looking lotion.

The end result is a slight line that can barely be seen between the sets of freckles closer to my elbow pit there. 

I can feel the lotion on my arm (Mmmm cocoa butter softness) but I cannot tell a difference between the end of my arm and the elbow half where it was not applied. Now, maybe I screwed this up by not using the mythical 'unscented white lotion'. Or maybe this is another one of those hinky things floating around the internet that never worked in the first place (who has the time or inclination to post those things, just to mess with people?!)?

Has this DIY worked for anybody? Should I have just Googled it before I tried it? Fat chance of that. As soon as I saw this pin, my head almost exploded into candy. I really thought that this project would involve slathering awesomeness all over myself and surprising the BF when he woke up. Now I just want a consolation Frosty.

Today's Experiment..................FAIL

09/22/14 UPDATE!
I just found this video on YouTube for the exact same experiment. It failed, of course. But the girl in this video actually eats some of it.